Here we are. Christmas is days away and I am super stoked. I love being with family (there’ll be 22 of us jammed into one house), eating, drinking, playing games and watching people open the gifts I chose for them. As I’m sure we all know, Christmas is so much more than that though. It is a time of year full of an array of different emotions: happiness, excitement, giddiness, sadness, depression and even anger.
The holiday season always conjures up memories of Christmases past and gone, leaving one nostalgic for the starry-eyed feeling we all had growing up, when we awoke Christmas morning. Though it’s sometimes hard to invoke those same emotions only a child could truly hold, there is one sentiment that rivals those feelings we all, as adults, could easily summon if we really sat back and thought of everything that we have - that of gratitude.
My husband and I have had a very tough year. As most of you know, in March we lost a son when I was 5 months pregnant. We named him Nate Clayton Bissonnette, a name we had been reserving for a son since our first daughter was born. At times, it has been a challenge to get out of bed in the morning. The loss we feel is immense. Our beautiful girls have helped to pull us through the darkness, and all we can feel is love and pride when we look at them.
Though my heart is still breaking, I have been able to embrace the Christmas spirit almost as fully as if Nate were still here. Our son has given us an indispensable gift - gratitude. We are so very thankful for the beautiful family that we have. Though I wish he could be in my arms this Christmas, I will forever be grateful to Nate for the ways I have learned to live so much more fully since he came into, and left, our lives. We have a special angel up in heaven this Christmas.
So, thank you to my son; thank you to my wonderful husband and beautiful girls; thank you to my ever-supportive and loving family; thank you to God for the many, many gifts he has bestowed upon us; and thank you to my readers, for listening to me rant and allowing me to throw my (perhaps) misguided opinions on to you.
If nothing else, I wish for us all this Christmas the capacity to be grateful for everything that we hold and a humble knowing that we already have everything we need.