Though I’ve been feeling pretty good about the Christmas season upon us, I have had a heavy feeling in my chest lately. My shoulders feel like they are in vice grips, my neck stiff as a board and my jaw is wound up tighter than a nun’s … you catch my drift. I guess I am a little stressed out, and didn’t even realize it. I decided I needed to take action if I wanted to enjoy the holiday season.
A girlfriend and I discussed how sometimes you just need a big cry to let everything out, sometimes things you hadn’t even realized you were feeling. I’m a big cry baby. I cry when I’m happy, when I’m sad, when I’m really pissed off and when I’m completely overwhelmed. It makes me feel better. And as much as I already do it, I think I should do it more often.
Tuesday night I had a big cry-fest. I’ve been avoiding it for a while. But every time I went to bed I felt depressed, that I needed to get something off my chest. So, I sat down with some pictures and some poems that I knew would upset me, and I cried. I sobbed actually. Everything that had been on my mind lately (and stored in my shoulders and jaw) came pouring out of my eyes. And the next day I felt much better.
I don’t know why people avoid crying like it’s the plague. It’s so good for you. It doesn’t show that you are weak. It shows that you are strong enough to bare your feelings. There is such a focus lately on people being in control of their entire world. That we should embrace the “bad times” and thank them as teachers as we journey through life. Perhaps this is true, but what about our other feelings? Of sadness, anger or resentment. Should those be ignored? I don’t think so, Tim. When something shitty happens, you should be upset! It’s the most natural thing to do. You can’t pretend that you are totally fine with whatever is going on and just ‘accept it’. You need to undergo those so-called negative emotions in order to work through your feelings towards the situation. Then, you can start to look at the incident as a learning experience and so on.
If you want to enjoy the good times in life, you need to experience the bad times. If you choose to ignore those feelings, they’ll end up in your shoulders, or present as a headache or an illness. Your body will suffer, and you will eventually be forced to come face to face with whatever is going on. So why not do it now? Sit down and have a good cry. If you have a hard time crying, maybe try some heart opening yoga poses - those always make me cry. Or watch Bambi, damn movie gets me every time.
“We are healed of a suffering only by experiencing it to the full.” - Marcel Proust.