I seriously don’t know what I wanna be when I grow up. I haven’t had a (paying) job in over 6 years. I’ve been at home with my girls for five of those years, and did manage to get my Education Degree from the U of S in the meantime, but do I really want to be a teacher? To be with snotty, bratty kids all day, just to come home to my own snotty brats?! Okay, kids aren’t that bad. I love them. I find myself drawn to them and have to fight back the urge to pick them up and snuggle them. But still, I wonder if I would quickly burn out from such a demanding vocation.
Being at home with my girls has been wonderful. To be there every time they needed has been a gift. But, I need more. As Miranda from SATC 2 confessed so honestly: “Being a mother is not enough for me.” I bawled my eyes out when I heard her say that because, for me, she really hit the nail on the head.
I’ve made peace with that, but that’s about as far as I’ve gotten. I feel like a teenager on Career Day. I see all the possibilities out there and am excited. Media says you need to follow your dreams and do something you’re passionate about. I’ve been trying to make lists to decide what I’m truly passionate about. My list includes such things as cooking, baking and writing. But then there’s the problem with the rational part of my mind saying; “You can’t do that! You have a family to think of!”.
And so goes the swirl of undecidedness (My spell check says that isn’t a word, but I know it is. Doesn’t it know I’m a teacher?). Back and forth until I get very bitchy, emotional and discouraged.
I am leaving on Friday morning for a yoga retreat on Salt Spring Island in BC. Four days away from everyone and everything familiar. I can’t wait. The idea is for me to have enough time to myself to actually be able to decipher through some of my thoughts and maybe even make some life-changing decisions. Yoga brings me to a place where I can open my mind and let truth flow in and out. I’ll let you know how it turns out.
And if that doesn’t work, I think I’ll just rely on the genius of Dr. Seuss to guide me. I think I’d be a really good hammock tester!
Maybe You Should Fly a Jet! Maybe You Should Be a Vet!Want to be a ticket taker? Want to be a pizza maker?
Lobersterman, jockey, TV fixer, ballet dancer, soda mixer
Do you want to be an astronaut? Or keeper of the zoo? You’ve got to do something.
What DO you want to do?
Tailor? Sailor? Nailer? Jailer? You’ve got to BE someone sooner or later.
How about a wrestler … a writer … or a waiter?
How about a dentist? How about a florist? How about a forester working in a forest?
Do you wish to be an oil refiner? Diamond miner? Dress designer?
How about a paper hanger? How about a bass drum banger?
Do you want to do your work outdoors? Do you want to work inside?
Would you like to be a plumber … a policeman … or a bride?
Would you rather work in a mountain town …or in the desert lower down?
Pet shop owner, money loaner, how about a slide tromboner?
How about a perfume smeller? How about a fortune teller?
You could be a turkey farmer. You could be a teacher.
You could be a lot of things. How about a preacher?
You could be a clown! Or a coffee perker!
How about an iron worker?
Fireman, tireman, telephone wireman.
Some girls make good picture framers. Some girls make good lion tamers.
Some guys make good tightrope walkers. Other guys are better talkers.
Maybe you should fly a jet. Maybe you should be a vet.
How about a deep-sea diver? How about a beehive hiver?
Would you like to be an actor? Would you like to run a tractor?
Like to drive a taxicab? … Or run a big computer lab?
Tennis pro … optometrist Hockey pro … podiatrist
Chemist … Lepidopterist
Glass blower, mushroom grower, How about a fishbone boner or a roller coaster owner?
Would you sooner be a ballooner or a grand-piano tuner?
Olympic champion? Mountain guide? It’s not easy to decide.
You’ve go to be someone! You can’t just be a doodler.
You could be a sculptor … or, perhaps, a noodle noodler.
You might be a mystery guy! Would you like to be a spy?
Maybe you should be a vester … a jester or a hammock tester.
Maybe you should be a voice. Someday you must make a choice.
Maybe you should be a FOICE! ?????
When you find out what a FOICE is, you can tell us what your choice is.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
Cure for a Bad Day
Everybody has bad days. Monday, for me, was no exception - I had a real shit day. I could hand you some bullshit lines about being thankful for the bad days because they make you appreciate the good ones more. Or how you have a choice and actually decided to have a bad day, that it didn’t just happen. They’re probably right, but seriously, who wants to hear that when they’re struggling to get through the day? Instead, go ahead and give a big “Fuck you” to anyone that says that to you, then try some of my practical solutions to lifting your spirits:
1. Talk to someone about it - Sometimes you can be pissed off at the world and not even really know why. I find it helps to talk it out. Either with a good friend, your spouse, your mom, or even yourself in a journal. Once you figure out the problem it’ll be much easier to work on “fixing it”. Don’t forget to get a big hug (or have a quickie, if appropriate).
2. Cry - When you’re having a bad day, no matter what the issue, you certainly have a range of emotions coursing through your mind and body. Crying is an emotional release. It helps to get rid of all the shit that you’re feeling inside.
3. Get some exercise - practice your yoga, go for a walk, go to the gym, or if you’re really pissed off, have a match with a punching bag. This too helps to relieve some serious built up tension which will make room for more healing vibes to flow through.
4. Lift your spirits with some spirits - Have a drink. A warm drink. With booze in it. My girlfriends make fun of me (bitches) because I’m always drinking teas or coffee when we go out for drinks. But, I find them calming, relaxing and warming. It’s like getting a hug from the inside out. And the booze helps to mellow even the most stressed out. I’m sipping this one as I write. Yummy J
5. Watch a Disney movie - There’s nothing like a good-natured children’s movie to make you feel better. Pick your favorite from when you were a kid and hunker down on the couch. It’ll make you laugh and perhaps revive that carefree feeling every child has that seems elusive to us “grown-ups”. Beauty and the Beast is playing in the background right now.
6. Get some sleep - Just go to bed. Everything always seems better in the morning after a solid 8 hours. Try to leave whatever is bothering you on the kitchen counter, you can pick it up again in the morning, if you have to. Lay your head on that pillow knowing you’re a good person and are doing your best. Close your eyes and dream about Ryan Reynolds. Or Megan Fox. She’s hot too.
Have a nice day! J
1. Talk to someone about it - Sometimes you can be pissed off at the world and not even really know why. I find it helps to talk it out. Either with a good friend, your spouse, your mom, or even yourself in a journal. Once you figure out the problem it’ll be much easier to work on “fixing it”. Don’t forget to get a big hug (or have a quickie, if appropriate).
2. Cry - When you’re having a bad day, no matter what the issue, you certainly have a range of emotions coursing through your mind and body. Crying is an emotional release. It helps to get rid of all the shit that you’re feeling inside.
3. Get some exercise - practice your yoga, go for a walk, go to the gym, or if you’re really pissed off, have a match with a punching bag. This too helps to relieve some serious built up tension which will make room for more healing vibes to flow through.
4. Lift your spirits with some spirits - Have a drink. A warm drink. With booze in it. My girlfriends make fun of me (bitches) because I’m always drinking teas or coffee when we go out for drinks. But, I find them calming, relaxing and warming. It’s like getting a hug from the inside out. And the booze helps to mellow even the most stressed out. I’m sipping this one as I write. Yummy J
5. Watch a Disney movie - There’s nothing like a good-natured children’s movie to make you feel better. Pick your favorite from when you were a kid and hunker down on the couch. It’ll make you laugh and perhaps revive that carefree feeling every child has that seems elusive to us “grown-ups”. Beauty and the Beast is playing in the background right now.
6. Get some sleep - Just go to bed. Everything always seems better in the morning after a solid 8 hours. Try to leave whatever is bothering you on the kitchen counter, you can pick it up again in the morning, if you have to. Lay your head on that pillow knowing you’re a good person and are doing your best. Close your eyes and dream about Ryan Reynolds. Or Megan Fox. She’s hot too.
Have a nice day! J
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Non-Violence
The violence that occurred 10 years ago on September 11th bothers me more today than it did then. I knew what had happened was awful (I remember saying “This is, like, as bad as when JFK was killed). I was only a year out of high school though. I didn’t even know what the twin towers were. I didn’t understand how it would shape our world and change the lives of everyone on earth.
I’m finding it hard to wrap my head around the idea that someone can be so evil. Worse catastrophes have happened than 9/11. Millions of people have been killed by natural disasters, each one of them just as devastating as the other. But these terrorists, these people, did this on purpose. They wanted to kill and destroy the lives of thousands of others. Where does that hatred come from? It’s so fucking scary (and sad) to think that there are human beings out there capable of doing this.
I wasn’t happy the way some were when Osama Bin Laden was killed. I find it hard to rejoice in the death of another human being, no matter how evil the person may have been. I mean, it’s good that he is gone. It was a sad day for me though, to know that violence begets violence. Honestly, I would have preferred they captured the SOB and made him rebuild the towers by hand, by himself. Now that he’s dead, he has been freed. Maybe, by some off-chance, eventually, the evil in his heart could have been replaced with understanding, or compassion or, by God, even love?
I was filled with a sense of renewed hope in the human race when little Kienan was returned safely to his family. Whoever did take him, though obviously evil in some way, had to have had some love in his heart. Perhaps it was the plea the boy’s father made for his safe return, or maybe the guy just wanted to be rid of the kid so he didn’t end up in the slammer (for as long). Regardless, something in that man made him return that little boy unharmed.
Yoga promotes non-violence. You can take that as you like. Some believe that eating meat is violence, so they don’t. In that respect, I guess I am a violent person. Everybody is in some way, I’m sure. I suppose all we can do is try. Try to love, understand, and be compassionate towards one another. I think violence would have a very small role in our lives if we could all live like that. One can dream, right?!
I think John Lennon had it right - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b7qaSxuZUg
I’m finding it hard to wrap my head around the idea that someone can be so evil. Worse catastrophes have happened than 9/11. Millions of people have been killed by natural disasters, each one of them just as devastating as the other. But these terrorists, these people, did this on purpose. They wanted to kill and destroy the lives of thousands of others. Where does that hatred come from? It’s so fucking scary (and sad) to think that there are human beings out there capable of doing this.
I wasn’t happy the way some were when Osama Bin Laden was killed. I find it hard to rejoice in the death of another human being, no matter how evil the person may have been. I mean, it’s good that he is gone. It was a sad day for me though, to know that violence begets violence. Honestly, I would have preferred they captured the SOB and made him rebuild the towers by hand, by himself. Now that he’s dead, he has been freed. Maybe, by some off-chance, eventually, the evil in his heart could have been replaced with understanding, or compassion or, by God, even love?
I was filled with a sense of renewed hope in the human race when little Kienan was returned safely to his family. Whoever did take him, though obviously evil in some way, had to have had some love in his heart. Perhaps it was the plea the boy’s father made for his safe return, or maybe the guy just wanted to be rid of the kid so he didn’t end up in the slammer (for as long). Regardless, something in that man made him return that little boy unharmed.
Yoga promotes non-violence. You can take that as you like. Some believe that eating meat is violence, so they don’t. In that respect, I guess I am a violent person. Everybody is in some way, I’m sure. I suppose all we can do is try. Try to love, understand, and be compassionate towards one another. I think violence would have a very small role in our lives if we could all live like that. One can dream, right?!
I think John Lennon had it right - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-b7qaSxuZUg
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Come Away With Me
My husband and I took a hiatus from life this past weekend. We packed our bags, left the kids with his sister and escaped to a little paradise on the prairies, Historic Reesor Ranch. My God, did we need it. We had an amazing time. We were humbled by the vast blue sky and entranced at night when a billion stars came out. We were overwhelmed with excitement (and a little intimidated!) when a group of four or five horses came running towards us in the field, nibbling our jackets and bumping us with their noses looking for a treat and a rub. We were drunk from the magnificent scenery while riding horseback through the hills, and from the wine at the Cypress Hills Vineyard and Winery.
No kids, no TV, no shopping malls, no telephones (okay, we did listen to the game, Go Riders!) We fell in love all over again. With each other and with ourselves. Taking a break reminded us about what’s important in life. We came home brimming with a refreshed love for our children. And we were prompted to look again at our lives and the things in it we would like to change.
I also took a break from yoga last week. I caught the cold my daughters had been tossing around and really felt down and out. Now, I’m all for practicing yoga while battling an illness. I truly believe it can lead you to a quicker path of recovery. However, being at home with my girls, I had to make a choice. It was either have a much needed rest, or practice yoga. I just don’t have the time for both. So, I decided to give my body what it was craving the most and slept while my little one did.
While on our weekend getaway, I had all the time in the world. So I rolled my mat out onto the grass and had a restorative practice while saluting the sun for real. It was so healing. Yesterday morning I enjoyed a more invigorating class with Tracy and am ready to tackle the world again.
Taking a break is a good thing. My kids had a wonderful time and are learning that things are pretty cool when Mommy isn’t around. Everybody needs a breather from their work, kids, spouse, diet, yoga, so you can learn again to appreciate what you have. No matter how much you love something, you can still use a time-out from it. What can/should you take a break from?
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”- William Shakespeare
No kids, no TV, no shopping malls, no telephones (okay, we did listen to the game, Go Riders!) We fell in love all over again. With each other and with ourselves. Taking a break reminded us about what’s important in life. We came home brimming with a refreshed love for our children. And we were prompted to look again at our lives and the things in it we would like to change.
I also took a break from yoga last week. I caught the cold my daughters had been tossing around and really felt down and out. Now, I’m all for practicing yoga while battling an illness. I truly believe it can lead you to a quicker path of recovery. However, being at home with my girls, I had to make a choice. It was either have a much needed rest, or practice yoga. I just don’t have the time for both. So, I decided to give my body what it was craving the most and slept while my little one did.
While on our weekend getaway, I had all the time in the world. So I rolled my mat out onto the grass and had a restorative practice while saluting the sun for real. It was so healing. Yesterday morning I enjoyed a more invigorating class with Tracy and am ready to tackle the world again.
Taking a break is a good thing. My kids had a wonderful time and are learning that things are pretty cool when Mommy isn’t around. Everybody needs a breather from their work, kids, spouse, diet, yoga, so you can learn again to appreciate what you have. No matter how much you love something, you can still use a time-out from it. What can/should you take a break from?
“Absence makes the heart grow fonder”- William Shakespeare
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